For Anita

Those that are dead are not dead
they're just livin' in my head.
--Lyric from the band Coldplay

Anita is our big sister, and no other person can ever fill her shoes. She has gone from us but not far, because she lives in our thoughts - past present and future - with Dad, Lou, and Donnie.

What my cousin Anita meant to me. --Dee Gallagher

I have been trying to express my sadness to you for a long while now. To even try to comprehend the loss you feel at this time is something I would not even attempt to understand. I can only tell you that the loss of my cousin means that I will now have to rely on my memory to hold all the precious things she meant to me. From the time we were very small children we spent summer vacations together, had Sunday dinner at each other’s houses every weekend, spent hours looking through the Sears catalog deciding on each page what we wanted. Then as time grew on she became my “cool” older cousin who had the very cool boyfriend, Lee. Anita was the first one to get married and move away from our extended family. Then along came Tina Lee, her adorable little girl, cherished by Nita and Lee. Jan and I had the treat of visiting Nita and Lee in South Carolina and stay in their very tiny trailer. They fixed us up with two service guys and then waited nervously up for us to come home from our date. It was so fun and we talked about her having another baby soon. When we returned we hear about the news of what they hoped would be a healthy boy, they had lost a boy after Tina’s birth and wanted so to complete their family with a son. We were all so excited to hear the news of Jeff’s birth!

Time passed and after many moves and Nita’s children growing up, she came back to New England and I was able to see her again. It was so wonderful to have her back in my life and to watch her enjoy her relationship with her grown children and her grandchildren. Nita was the ultimate grandmother and at times I had to remember that she was their grandmother and not their mother because she always looked so young and Tina was still a kid to me. Our family picnic would not have been complete without her there and I still can’t imagine what a void it will be not to have her there this year. Her warm smile and hug to warm my heart will be missed more than I have let myself realize. She was a woman that never judged, criticized or complained. My cousin Anita was warm, loving and never changed from the time I was a small child and I will miss her dearly. We lost her much too fast and early in her life. Not a day goes by that I don’t selfishly want her back. I can’t even imagine how you all must be feeling and just want you to know that my heart and prayers go out to you.
Love,
Prudi

 

Dad at left with Mom and Anita; at right with Lee Suleski and Pete Ravish

Lee, Anita, Donnie McLean, and Jan (c.1965)